• Uncle Stevie

Addressing The NCAA


Traditionally one of the biggest moron organization's in the world, the NCAA once again screwed the pooch with the NCAA tourney's this week. The men get whatever they want, top facilities, meals, swag, you name it, why? Because they make the NCAA billions of dollars. The women get almost nothing, why? Because they don't make nearly as much money. Now the NCAA doesn't give a flying F we know this, and they are rightfully getting crushed for it. They have always been jokes and will continue to always to jokes. I have THE solution to the NCAA problems:









That's right folks, none other than a founding member and the shortest, but biggest mouth of CSBS, Matty Coach Roache. What are his credentials? Ahh I don't know, he's married to a woman, not to brag, he has some job within sports at JWU, I have no idea what his actual title is, Director of Fun, sometimes sports commentator, facilties guy, baseball guru? Who knows, doesn't matter he's wildcat til the day he dies. He may also be part woman. He may not be the man they want but he's the man they need, we will look past his fshortfalls (no pun intended), he once staged a Nancy Kerrigan like attack with a wrench on a devilishly good looking human for no reason whatsoever, he gets mad when a person loves themselves too much, he wears a shirt in the pool, over the years his thick skin has become increasingly thin, especially when someone makes jokes about his family cough Boom Boom cough, he doesn't like when people spinzone everything into their favor, he will only use Pentatonix and Janelle Monet songs for the NCAA tourny intros and America will surely hate him for that, and he can no longer eat Coco Puffs in the shower after a very unfortunate event. Sure he will give priority to baseball over every other sport when he takes over the NCAA but at least mens and womens basketball will be on a level playing field. So NCAA do the right thing and bring in the savior you need, just make sure he's able to get to the store to pick up paper towels a few times a week.

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