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  • Writer's pictureUncle Stevie

The Red Sox Can't Possibly Be Worse Than Last Year, Right?

The Red Sox were unwatchable last year, the team was atrocious, the whole pandemic didn't help things, and NESN was absolute dumpster fire. I watched 5 innings of the first game last season and never watched one more moment of baseball, it was that bad. I knew (apparently not the Baseball Guru or Boom Boom) that this team wasn't going to be good last year and they proved me right in spades. The team the Sox had last season was the worst team they've ever fielded talent and entertainment wise. Baseball is built on cheating, at it's core baseball is a game of cheating, dating back to the 1800s. Just look at the history of baseball, the eras are defined by the cheating scandal at that current time. It actually is quite impressive, without cheating baseball is a backyard sport like cornhole. With cheating baseball is able to be competitive for the 4 best sport in America with Soccer and Lacrosse.

Speaking of cheating:

The creator of the banging trash can is back, after his one year heave hoe for you guessed it right, cheating. Just having this cheating mastermind back in the dugout ensures the Sox will in fact be better then last year with that old fart they had running the show. The Sox were the worst team in the AL East even worse than the Orioles, which is almost impossible to do. The Sox offense will be better than last year just because of Cora's cheating ways, so that's the good news. This team will be more entertaining and in a couple years we will get a great scandal from it, that is good for baseball. Just like last year the Sox problem will be their pitching. They don't have one big league pitcher on their roster from the starting 5 to the bullpen. That is a giant problem in baseball when pitching is the biggest determination in winning or losing.

Will the Sox and the 5,000 fans at Fenway be worth actually watching? The answer is NO, they are not. They will be towards the bottom of the AL East again, they won't be close to the playoffs, and they will be getting shelled on a nightly basis. They did almost nothing during the offseason to improve their team outside of the cheating bastard manager and as a fan base we demand more. The only hope is the Sox are better than their sister team, the Celtics. They are very similar in that they don't do anything to improve their teams which is simply infuriating.

Official Red Sox prediction: exactly .500, 81-81 and not worth your time to watch.

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