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  • Writer's pictureUncle Stevie

What Really Grinds My Gears This Week: Proposals

Stupid proposals. Nice backyard you effing loser. Now Roachey will be big mad at this blog because if there's anything he loves more than baseball it is love. Dude is all about it. Fine go ahead and love love, no sweat off my back, to each their own. Roachey once told me I only buy sneakers because I am afraid of love. Still haven't figured out what that means, but it is without a doubt great news for my kick collection. Now to the main point of the blog, I recently got back from my first vacation since the pandemic started, well needed trip to Florida. Went to Disney, drank my face off, worked on my sunburn, all NBDs. But the thing that pissed me off more than lazy f** losers on the scooters around the parks is the overwhelmingly corny proposals at Magic Kingdom, easily the worst of the 4 parks as well. Can't walk down the street without seeing dumbass dudes dropping to a knee and proposing in front the of the castle. People cheering like omg never seen a proposal before in my life. Hey idiots, yea you two asshats on the street making a scene, in the most overused and downright corniest proposal spots on planet earth, the marriage isn't going to last, you are going to spend THOUSANDS to get married and invite family and friends that want no part of your "special day", and what do you get for it? A picture with a backpack on and a horribly cringy moment in the most dumb fashion you could ever imagine. That spot that your knee is on sir, that spot has been puked on by a douche bag kid no less than 100 times.

Don't think I forgot about the stupid ass people cheering for these two clowns, you people are legitimately cheering on the worst decision of the lives of one of these two if not both people involved in this mess. You are cheering on an incoming trainwreck, it going to be a long painful divorce for these people but at least you got to cheer at Magic Kingdom that one time. I laugh in these people faces when I see, hey buddy good job giving away your entire life, have fun with the bride's monster mom on wedding day, that'll be a true joy for you both. Not only is getting proposed a bad idea in itself spending thousands on a ring, do you know how many pairs of sneakers I could get if I just never have to buy a ring? But doing it in Disney World no less? What complete and utter idiots you are, losers, buffoons that should be immediately wiped from society. Seriously I wish I was Thanos and could snap my fingers to have these morons disappear from earth.

What's 2nd place in the worst proposal spots, at any type of sporting event. Don't think I didn't forget about you assclowns either. The only thing I root for when I see it on the jumbotron is for the girl to say no and storm off. So while you idiots are at Kay Jewelers planning out your Disney proposal, I'll be at Foot Locker picking up them new Js.

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